Truth In Pictures

Blogging is something that has been a desire of my heart for a long time...I'm not sure why...maybe it's just simply the feeling of release or a hope that someone, somewhere will read some snippet and say "yessssss!!!".  I haven't written a post in a very long time, so I figured why not start with a hard one. 

I do not do pictures. I have this crazy, yet sometimes wonderful, disorder...I have the ability to look at myself in a mirror and really like what I see most of the time. I don't see lumps or bumps. I put a cute outfit together and fix my hair and do a little makeup and I stand in front of the mirror and think, yep, I still look pretty! This disorder only works in the mirror. I am literally SHOCKED every time I see myself in a picture. Whoa!!! When did I get THAT big?!?! 

We have had family pictures made once in the last 8 years. The hubs recently made a push to get them done and I had met a really nice photographer on Facebook a while back, so I gave in and made an appointment.  

We had a really great time at the session...not only did our photographer make us comfortable, we actually had fun. So much fun, that I left thinking that we might just become a picture taking family. 

And then she posted the sneak peek on Facebook. My immediate reaction was just joy at how beautiful these photos were. That lasted about a millisecond. I swiped my finger across the screen of my phone to the next picture...and my heart just fell. I felt horrified...look how terrible my stomach looks! Thoughts raced through my head...I'm going to ask her to take these down! Can she edit this a little to smooth out my stomach? Oh. Em. Gee.

People...I COMPLETELY ruined a beautiful moment for my husband. The man stood there, tears nearly in his eyes, full of love and pride for the family in these pictures. And instead of hugging him, and reveling in gratitude for what the Lord has given me, I promptly made a beeline for the bathroom and cried. 

I texted a very close friend, who gave me a swift kick in the butt...that I didn't want to hear at the time. 

I have looked these pictures over with a fine tooth comb...and there is so much TRUTH in them. I'll insert a sidebar here...YES, I know that being over weight is unhealthy...just so you all know that I KNOW that. And I KNOW that I need to do something about it. But I also know that it is not WHO I am.  The woman in those pictures is not a jiggly stomach or a double chin. As my friend so succinctly put it..."I can't see your stomach because I'm looking at a beautiful mother with her two handsome sons. They all look healthy and happy, well provided for and nicely clothed. They seem as if maybe God has His hand on them and has big plans for their future."  Indeed.

It Was House

This Christmas season has not gone as I had planned. I am ridiculously grateful for the many, many blessings in my life, don't get me wrong...but, boy oh boy has this Christmas season not gone as I had planned. I feel quite certain this is one of those times that God had to remind me, yet again, that I am not in charge.

We have all been just silly about the new house...and I think we all had these pretty Norman Rockwell dreams of what our first Christmas here was going to be like. We discussed all the decorations we would hang and the dinner we would eat sitting at our gigantic "new" dining set...oh my! the things we planned. And a month, a ton of doctor's and dentist's visits, prescriptions not covered by insurance, severe colds, a bladder infection, bulging disks and a thrown-out back, a stomach virus, and a shitload of medical bills later...we have a tree up, we have decided the dining table is too big, and we will be going out for dinner and a movie with our boys on Christmas night.

And you know what? I am ok with that. Yes, I had a moment or two where I was just disgusted that I didn't get to Pinterest my little heart out once again this Christmas, but at the end of the day, it was house.

Our "new" house is my husband's grandparents' houseplace. And we LURVE it. It is an old house, but she has great bones. The house is a nice house...it is spacious and has a great pantry...it has alot going for it. But none of those are the reasons why we love the house so. The house just FEELS like home.

I hope that you are lucky enough to have known the feeling (maybe you are really lucky and you STILL get to feel the feeling) of walking into your grandmother's house. My grandma's house just always felt like home...it was the most comfortable place in my world. Everything was gonna be ok when you were at grandma's house. Everything was perfect there...you didn't have to look or act a certain way...it was ok to eat a second piece of cake, noone was judging...it was just HOME.

That is the feeling in this house. When we walk through the door, everything is just ok, because we are home. It is comfortable. It is perfect.

We still have so much left to do as far as updating and finishing the house...small things like touching up trim and painting and rehanging doors. We have all put in alot of hours together to get it where it is now. Alot of late night, delirious hours...and so "it was house" was born.

My boys and I all get a little silly when we get tired...and at some point during our late night painting sessions, someone started yelling "it was house!" from whatever room they were working in. And all of our minds work the the same, so it was immediately understood that this really meant "ohmygoshthishouseisfantasticandicantbelieveitsreallyours". So, for months we have yelled "It was house" to each other.

I think one reason we get so frantic at Christmas is that it feels like a one shot deal. We have a "season" to cram in all these activities and feelings and our favorite foods and such. What I have finally realized this year is that we should live those feelings all year long...why does Christmas make us feel so good? Because we make candy with our kids and give it as gifts to people? Do we have to wait until Christmas to do that?

Yes, obviously there are alot of "Christmas" things we wouldn't do year round..If you are being ridiculous right now and naming them all in your head, then stop...you know what I mean. It's kinda the same as people who save all their good shit their whole lives waiting for special occasions to use it and then die before they do.

Our Christmas may not have turned out quite the way we planned, but it turned out, and for that I am thankful.

It was home.

Oh the Webs We Weave

It has been sometime since I posted anything. I have had somewhat of a love-hate relationship with this blog. I really like the idea of writing this blog...but notice every time I start a post, I kind of wrestle with myself as I'm writing. I censor myself.
See, the problem with actually DOING a blog, like full on doing it...is that you fling open the doors on all your shit and invite people to come on in, parade around,  observe...and yes, judge.
There was a time in my life when I simply didn't care what people thought of me. Somewhere along the way, I lost that person. I started to care waaaaay too much what people thought of me. I started to censor myself.
Last week, my little family went on a much needed, nothing extravagant vacation. It was fabulous. I was stress free. I was uninhibited. I was uncensored. It was so freeing. So, I brought that me home with me.
I even posted a full body pic of myself from vacation on Facebook. No more cropping myself out of pics because I'm overweight. No more editing tutorial pics so you can't see that after a year, my kitchen cabinets STILL don't have doors on them. I am who I am. We live how we live.
I'll be inviting you into my home in the blog posts to come. I spend a lot of time making things beautiful for other people with my business, so my house looks like a hodge podge of started refinishing, decided I hate it, realized I was trying to please someone else shit right now. I'll be starting in the master bedroom..."before" pics to come. I hope you'll stay tuned!

Failing at Facebook

Well ya’ll, it has been a few months since I wrote a blog post. At first, I was just too busy with all of the holiday hoopla going on. And then when I realized I hadn't written anything in a while, I kind of panicked (because my millions of readers would be wondering what had happened to me, haha)….and I tried…and tried…and tried to bang something out, but nothing would come. In fact, it’s like I have been bound up for months in all areas of communication….and if you know me, you know this isn't me. Anyway, I finally just gave up and quit worrying about it. But good ole’ social media sparked some inspiration a few days ago.

I am not a huge lover of social media. I think it has its selling points as well as its flaws. I don’t look down on anyone else for loving it and using the hell out of it, I have just never been really enthusiastic about it. I use it now, for my little business, more than I ever have before.  I am more of a Facebook creeper than participator.  Although I do enjoy the occasional convo with a long lost pal or friends/family that have moved far away.

With that said….I was scrolling through my feed the other day, and I saw a few of these “movies” that Facebook is making out of your pictures. Let me tell you now that I have about six pictures uploaded to my Facebook page, therefore I did not have a movie. Anyway…I noticed a few of these movies and went on about my business. Later, I scrolled through again, and saw some more. It was at this point that I had this….almost urgency overcome me….the absurd thought actually popped into my head that I somehow needed to “get on the ball”….how had I failed so as a mother that I had not documented every single milestone of my children’s lives on social media????

Seriously…I’m not poking fun or looking down on anyone that DOES post tons of pictures on Facebook…I enjoy looking at all the pictures that my friends post of their families, etc. But it just struck me as such a negative thing that I felt so bad about myself for not having done the same. Do memories exist only if we document them on Instagram or Facebook? Does everyone think I’m a terrible mother that never does anything with my kids because I don’t have any “evidence” of it plastered all over the Internet?

The point I’m trying to make here is how easy it is to get sucked into a vortex of comparison. I have read several posts on Facebook about “fasting” from social media for a while to avoid negativity, etc., so I know this isn't just me. There is so much ugliness in the world today…and I think women are worse than men….we are so judgmental of each other, all in the name of our own insecurities. Life is hard enough, people…be nice to each other!

I think it’s a wonderful thing to be able to connect with each other, to share our lives with people that are far away, to conduct business with people in other towns….but I think these same tools have the potential to breed discontentment or feelings of not being “enough” in our lives.

So….you will likely NOT see a huge increase in the number of pics I’m uploading to my Facebook page….I feel confident that my kids will have plenty of reasons to seek out therapy as adults, but I don’t think this will be one of them :)

She Rants

Happy Saturday people!

It is getting wet and cold...and I am very thankful for the fact that I don't have to drag my kids out in it every morning! I have already pulled out the sweatshirts!

Its almost Halloween, which we love around here, and I have a great post planned...tomorrow...

Today, she rants. Here is your warning: I am fixin to drag out my soapbox and hop right up on it...so if you are easily offended, or just don't care to hear me b*tch...then now is your cue to exit.

I don't even know where to begin...it has been a discouraging and frustrating week. I love technology as much as the next person, but I truly believe it has created a generation of some of the rudest people I have ever had the misfortune to encounter.

I am not trying to sound holier-than-thou...yes, I am positive I have bad days and am rude at times...but I also know that it isn't long before I feel REMORSE for doing so...and try to make amends.

It seems to me that the ability to hide behind a computer screen has created a society that says anything and everything...things they would never say to a person's face.

I notice these things more online...I do alot of buying and selling for my little business there...and people take no care with the tone they convey when they "talk". This is true for texting as well...there is no "tone" or body language for people to read when you are messaging or texting...be aware that what you say may be taken literally...take two seconds to make sure your message says what you really mean to say.

I wish the rudeness was limited to online....people are rude in person too. It makes me sad that people make such a big deal over the fact that my kids say yes ma'am and hold the door open for people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make my kids sound like saints, the Good Lord knows they are awful at home...but my point is, they know how to act in public, how to treat other people.

How much energy does it take to just smile at a stranger when you pass them in Wal-Mart? How much more time does it take to just be NICE?

I could say so much more...but I won't. Thanks for letting me vent....very entertaining Halloween post coming tomorrow, guys...stay tuned!!!

A Lizard and a Rug

Happy Hump Day, back porchers!! It has been very busy around here, but I wanted to take time out to share a super SIMPLE and super useful tutorial with you. In fact, it is so easy, this post was going to be pretty short and sweet....so I decided to share some of the things going on at the zoo....

I've been getting some things ready for a "booth" at the Somethin Snazzy Paint Studio shopping event tomorrow night (feel free to come shop!)...baybay loves to paint when I'm painting, so I try to keep some "junk" furniture around for him to work on when I'm working.

This took much alcohol, polish remover, and patience to undo folks.

Just in case you wondered, this is what dinner looks like at the zoo.

This nice weather inspired us to sit around the fire last night, roasting marshmallows, and telling "scary" stories....like The Three Bears.

And last but not least....because, WHY wouldn't this be happening in my house...in fact, I really don't even question these kinds of things anymore....

Yes, that is a lizard on my living room wall. It's the latest thing, you should totally get one.

Now...on with the tutorial....

I love a cute rug...but I do not like to PAY for a cute rug, because rugs do not last at my house...so, I'm going to show you how to make a cute rug. It's so easy!!

First, you will need to acquire a not so cute rug....

(if this rug is in your home and you think it is cute, then I apologize for the previous statement)

Next, choose your cute material...you want to cut the material to extend a few inches past the border of the rug...

Lay the fabric on top of the rug, and fold back one side to the middle....

Now, spray the rug with spray adhesive and smooth the fabric back down on top of the rug, making sure there are no wrinkles.

And then do the same thing with the other side.

Next, you want to spray the very edge of the fabric with adhesive and fold the fabric over to make a nice clean edge...

Now, spray the fabric and fold it over onto the rug, making sure it is nice and tight against the edge....press it down well!

I used these little clips to hold my corners together for a bit while they dried....

Once the adhesive has dried and set well, you will want to coat the fabric on the bottom and of course, on the top with a water based polyurethane...I like to use a sponge brush for these types of jobs....

I did three coats to the top and the bottom, better safe than sorry....

And that is it!! A cute, affordable rug that I won't mind looking at OR throwing away in a month!

Got Cake?

Welcome back to the zoo! Yesterday was a migraine day...rough day...so I thought what better way to recover from that than with cake. Can I tell you that I live with a house full of cake junkies? If I make a cake or cupcakes for any function, it requires the making of two cakes or two batches of cupcakes, lest I leave this house headed somewhere with a cake full of finger holes.

We are getting to that time of year when there are more occasions to bring a cake...holiday dinners, potlucks, fundraisers, etc. Cake decorating can me messy, expensive, and time consuming. And am I the only one that cannot get the last little spatula crease out of the icing? It drives me insane!! So...I thought I would show you the Petal technique...its pretty easy and it is a step above a plain iced cake...and it helps hide those lines and creases.

Now...before we begin...let me tell y'all....I have used this technique before with success...but today was full of sh*t happens...the end result is not what I would call a great success. And the OCD in me really just wanted to scrap it and start over rather than show y'all  my crappy cake. But I decided I would take the opportunity to show you where I screwed up and save you the trouble. 

So, first you want to make your cake, obviously. 

No, he's not being punished...he participates in these things voluntarily....

And, you know, a costume change was necessary, cuz that's how we roll....

Now, if food is leaving this house, then I prepare it sans sidekick...but please know...if you eat cake at this house, there has more than likely been a superhero's hand in it. 

I'm not going to give you a tutorial on making icing...there are a ton of recipes on the web...HOWEVER...and this is very important...I would NOT recommend using a cream cheese icing for this technique. I have previously used a buttercream frosting to do this and it worked much better than the cream cheese icing I have used here. But it was red velvet cake...and you just gotta have cream cheese with red velvet.

Lesson number two....this cake is much more impressive if it is taller. I would suggest making two cakes...regular size cake pans...and then split those two cakes for a total of four layers. 

HOWEVER....my regular size cake pans have grown legs...they are no doubt full of little boy play things or man tool things somewhere in my yard. So, I pulled out a medium size Wilton cake pan and did the best I could.

Once the cake has completely cooled, you will want to give it a thin crumb coat...this serves a few purposes...first, as the name suggests, to keep the crumbs out of everything....and today, I learned there is another purpose....brace yourselves..I have to warn you this picture is graphic...

It happens. No other explanation.

Apply a thin layer of icing all over the cake...try to get it as smooth as possible, but it's going to be covered so its not a huge deal.

..

Yep, still ugly.

Put the cake in the freezer for about 10 minutes to let this set. You can get your piping bag ready while it is chilling. You will need a Wilton number 12 tip. I use a piping bag and a plastic coupler. You can just snip the end out of the corner of a Ziploc bag...but make sure you don't squeeze the bag too hard with this method. 

Fill your bag with icing...an easy way to do this is to stick the bag down in a tall glass and drape the excess bag over the edge of the glass.

Fill with icing and then pull the sides up...

Twist the top of the bag before you start squeezing or your icing will come out the top as well as the bottom.

Now...begin the petal technique...I'll tell you lesson three now...I'm going to go ahead and show you how I did this, otherwise my pictures wouldn't make sense, but I would advise doing the top of the cake first...you'll see why at the end...ooooh, the suspense!!!

Start by piping dots down the side of the cake...(remember, taller is better, but we're working with what we've got here, people)

Now, take your icing spatula (or a baby spoon if your cake is only an inch tall) and put it at the middle of the dot...push in and drag out...

Then, apply the next row of dots like so....

Repeat this over and over again until you have covered the entire side area. 

For the top, just pick an area close to the side and do the same...

 

Go all the way around the cake and then start a new circle inside that one..over and over again until the top of the cake is covered.

Now...I will show you the finished product...although I REALLY don't want to (haha)...

See the little "seam" between the top and the bottom? I think if you did the top first, this would be easier to prevent. But, even with the little flaws, it still makes a plain cake pretty!!