Oh the Webs We Weave

It has been sometime since I posted anything. I have had somewhat of a love-hate relationship with this blog. I really like the idea of writing this blog...but notice every time I start a post, I kind of wrestle with myself as I'm writing. I censor myself.
See, the problem with actually DOING a blog, like full on doing it...is that you fling open the doors on all your shit and invite people to come on in, parade around,  observe...and yes, judge.
There was a time in my life when I simply didn't care what people thought of me. Somewhere along the way, I lost that person. I started to care waaaaay too much what people thought of me. I started to censor myself.
Last week, my little family went on a much needed, nothing extravagant vacation. It was fabulous. I was stress free. I was uninhibited. I was uncensored. It was so freeing. So, I brought that me home with me.
I even posted a full body pic of myself from vacation on Facebook. No more cropping myself out of pics because I'm overweight. No more editing tutorial pics so you can't see that after a year, my kitchen cabinets STILL don't have doors on them. I am who I am. We live how we live.
I'll be inviting you into my home in the blog posts to come. I spend a lot of time making things beautiful for other people with my business, so my house looks like a hodge podge of started refinishing, decided I hate it, realized I was trying to please someone else shit right now. I'll be starting in the master bedroom..."before" pics to come. I hope you'll stay tuned!

Failing at Facebook

Well ya’ll, it has been a few months since I wrote a blog post. At first, I was just too busy with all of the holiday hoopla going on. And then when I realized I hadn't written anything in a while, I kind of panicked (because my millions of readers would be wondering what had happened to me, haha)….and I tried…and tried…and tried to bang something out, but nothing would come. In fact, it’s like I have been bound up for months in all areas of communication….and if you know me, you know this isn't me. Anyway, I finally just gave up and quit worrying about it. But good ole’ social media sparked some inspiration a few days ago.

I am not a huge lover of social media. I think it has its selling points as well as its flaws. I don’t look down on anyone else for loving it and using the hell out of it, I have just never been really enthusiastic about it. I use it now, for my little business, more than I ever have before.  I am more of a Facebook creeper than participator.  Although I do enjoy the occasional convo with a long lost pal or friends/family that have moved far away.

With that said….I was scrolling through my feed the other day, and I saw a few of these “movies” that Facebook is making out of your pictures. Let me tell you now that I have about six pictures uploaded to my Facebook page, therefore I did not have a movie. Anyway…I noticed a few of these movies and went on about my business. Later, I scrolled through again, and saw some more. It was at this point that I had this….almost urgency overcome me….the absurd thought actually popped into my head that I somehow needed to “get on the ball”….how had I failed so as a mother that I had not documented every single milestone of my children’s lives on social media????

Seriously…I’m not poking fun or looking down on anyone that DOES post tons of pictures on Facebook…I enjoy looking at all the pictures that my friends post of their families, etc. But it just struck me as such a negative thing that I felt so bad about myself for not having done the same. Do memories exist only if we document them on Instagram or Facebook? Does everyone think I’m a terrible mother that never does anything with my kids because I don’t have any “evidence” of it plastered all over the Internet?

The point I’m trying to make here is how easy it is to get sucked into a vortex of comparison. I have read several posts on Facebook about “fasting” from social media for a while to avoid negativity, etc., so I know this isn't just me. There is so much ugliness in the world today…and I think women are worse than men….we are so judgmental of each other, all in the name of our own insecurities. Life is hard enough, people…be nice to each other!

I think it’s a wonderful thing to be able to connect with each other, to share our lives with people that are far away, to conduct business with people in other towns….but I think these same tools have the potential to breed discontentment or feelings of not being “enough” in our lives.

So….you will likely NOT see a huge increase in the number of pics I’m uploading to my Facebook page….I feel confident that my kids will have plenty of reasons to seek out therapy as adults, but I don’t think this will be one of them :)

She Rants

Happy Saturday people!

It is getting wet and cold...and I am very thankful for the fact that I don't have to drag my kids out in it every morning! I have already pulled out the sweatshirts!

Its almost Halloween, which we love around here, and I have a great post planned...tomorrow...

Today, she rants. Here is your warning: I am fixin to drag out my soapbox and hop right up on it...so if you are easily offended, or just don't care to hear me b*tch...then now is your cue to exit.

I don't even know where to begin...it has been a discouraging and frustrating week. I love technology as much as the next person, but I truly believe it has created a generation of some of the rudest people I have ever had the misfortune to encounter.

I am not trying to sound holier-than-thou...yes, I am positive I have bad days and am rude at times...but I also know that it isn't long before I feel REMORSE for doing so...and try to make amends.

It seems to me that the ability to hide behind a computer screen has created a society that says anything and everything...things they would never say to a person's face.

I notice these things more online...I do alot of buying and selling for my little business there...and people take no care with the tone they convey when they "talk". This is true for texting as well...there is no "tone" or body language for people to read when you are messaging or texting...be aware that what you say may be taken literally...take two seconds to make sure your message says what you really mean to say.

I wish the rudeness was limited to online....people are rude in person too. It makes me sad that people make such a big deal over the fact that my kids say yes ma'am and hold the door open for people. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make my kids sound like saints, the Good Lord knows they are awful at home...but my point is, they know how to act in public, how to treat other people.

How much energy does it take to just smile at a stranger when you pass them in Wal-Mart? How much more time does it take to just be NICE?

I could say so much more...but I won't. Thanks for letting me vent....very entertaining Halloween post coming tomorrow, guys...stay tuned!!!

A Lizard and a Rug

Happy Hump Day, back porchers!! It has been very busy around here, but I wanted to take time out to share a super SIMPLE and super useful tutorial with you. In fact, it is so easy, this post was going to be pretty short and sweet....so I decided to share some of the things going on at the zoo....

I've been getting some things ready for a "booth" at the Somethin Snazzy Paint Studio shopping event tomorrow night (feel free to come shop!)...baybay loves to paint when I'm painting, so I try to keep some "junk" furniture around for him to work on when I'm working.

This took much alcohol, polish remover, and patience to undo folks.

Just in case you wondered, this is what dinner looks like at the zoo.

This nice weather inspired us to sit around the fire last night, roasting marshmallows, and telling "scary" stories....like The Three Bears.

And last but not least....because, WHY wouldn't this be happening in my house...in fact, I really don't even question these kinds of things anymore....

Yes, that is a lizard on my living room wall. It's the latest thing, you should totally get one.

Now...on with the tutorial....

I love a cute rug...but I do not like to PAY for a cute rug, because rugs do not last at my house...so, I'm going to show you how to make a cute rug. It's so easy!!

First, you will need to acquire a not so cute rug....

(if this rug is in your home and you think it is cute, then I apologize for the previous statement)

Next, choose your cute material...you want to cut the material to extend a few inches past the border of the rug...

Lay the fabric on top of the rug, and fold back one side to the middle....

Now, spray the rug with spray adhesive and smooth the fabric back down on top of the rug, making sure there are no wrinkles.

And then do the same thing with the other side.

Next, you want to spray the very edge of the fabric with adhesive and fold the fabric over to make a nice clean edge...

Now, spray the fabric and fold it over onto the rug, making sure it is nice and tight against the edge....press it down well!

I used these little clips to hold my corners together for a bit while they dried....

Once the adhesive has dried and set well, you will want to coat the fabric on the bottom and of course, on the top with a water based polyurethane...I like to use a sponge brush for these types of jobs....

I did three coats to the top and the bottom, better safe than sorry....

And that is it!! A cute, affordable rug that I won't mind looking at OR throwing away in a month!

Got Cake?

Welcome back to the zoo! Yesterday was a migraine day...rough day...so I thought what better way to recover from that than with cake. Can I tell you that I live with a house full of cake junkies? If I make a cake or cupcakes for any function, it requires the making of two cakes or two batches of cupcakes, lest I leave this house headed somewhere with a cake full of finger holes.

We are getting to that time of year when there are more occasions to bring a cake...holiday dinners, potlucks, fundraisers, etc. Cake decorating can me messy, expensive, and time consuming. And am I the only one that cannot get the last little spatula crease out of the icing? It drives me insane!! So...I thought I would show you the Petal technique...its pretty easy and it is a step above a plain iced cake...and it helps hide those lines and creases.

Now...before we begin...let me tell y'all....I have used this technique before with success...but today was full of sh*t happens...the end result is not what I would call a great success. And the OCD in me really just wanted to scrap it and start over rather than show y'all  my crappy cake. But I decided I would take the opportunity to show you where I screwed up and save you the trouble. 

So, first you want to make your cake, obviously. 

No, he's not being punished...he participates in these things voluntarily....

And, you know, a costume change was necessary, cuz that's how we roll....

Now, if food is leaving this house, then I prepare it sans sidekick...but please know...if you eat cake at this house, there has more than likely been a superhero's hand in it. 

I'm not going to give you a tutorial on making icing...there are a ton of recipes on the web...HOWEVER...and this is very important...I would NOT recommend using a cream cheese icing for this technique. I have previously used a buttercream frosting to do this and it worked much better than the cream cheese icing I have used here. But it was red velvet cake...and you just gotta have cream cheese with red velvet.

Lesson number two....this cake is much more impressive if it is taller. I would suggest making two cakes...regular size cake pans...and then split those two cakes for a total of four layers. 

HOWEVER....my regular size cake pans have grown legs...they are no doubt full of little boy play things or man tool things somewhere in my yard. So, I pulled out a medium size Wilton cake pan and did the best I could.

Once the cake has completely cooled, you will want to give it a thin crumb coat...this serves a few purposes...first, as the name suggests, to keep the crumbs out of everything....and today, I learned there is another purpose....brace yourselves..I have to warn you this picture is graphic...

It happens. No other explanation.

Apply a thin layer of icing all over the cake...try to get it as smooth as possible, but it's going to be covered so its not a huge deal.

..

Yep, still ugly.

Put the cake in the freezer for about 10 minutes to let this set. You can get your piping bag ready while it is chilling. You will need a Wilton number 12 tip. I use a piping bag and a plastic coupler. You can just snip the end out of the corner of a Ziploc bag...but make sure you don't squeeze the bag too hard with this method. 

Fill your bag with icing...an easy way to do this is to stick the bag down in a tall glass and drape the excess bag over the edge of the glass.

Fill with icing and then pull the sides up...

Twist the top of the bag before you start squeezing or your icing will come out the top as well as the bottom.

Now...begin the petal technique...I'll tell you lesson three now...I'm going to go ahead and show you how I did this, otherwise my pictures wouldn't make sense, but I would advise doing the top of the cake first...you'll see why at the end...ooooh, the suspense!!!

Start by piping dots down the side of the cake...(remember, taller is better, but we're working with what we've got here, people)

Now, take your icing spatula (or a baby spoon if your cake is only an inch tall) and put it at the middle of the dot...push in and drag out...

Then, apply the next row of dots like so....

Repeat this over and over again until you have covered the entire side area. 

For the top, just pick an area close to the side and do the same...

 

Go all the way around the cake and then start a new circle inside that one..over and over again until the top of the cake is covered.

Now...I will show you the finished product...although I REALLY don't want to (haha)...

See the little "seam" between the top and the bottom? I think if you did the top first, this would be easier to prevent. But, even with the little flaws, it still makes a plain cake pretty!! 

A Tiny Table

Sometimes the fastest way isn't always the best way,
Sometimes the best things in life take a while. 


Well friends, I have decided not to rent a vendor's booth to sell my stuff right now. It just doesn't feel like the right time to amp it up. I have mixed feelings about this...I'm a little sad because I had so many cute things I wanted to try out in the booth, but I'm also a little relieved to have that off my plate at this time.

The good news is that I have lots of small furniture to use in projects with you now! Today, I'm going to show you how to do an image transfer.

This is a table I did a while back using this technique.

Image transfer can be used on wood or metal, painted or not..and it's best for those fonts and pictures with all the little swirlies you don't want to trace and impress. But let me tell y'all something...this technique is a labor of love. It's not a "quickie" project, so if you are prone to abandon things the minute they begin to feel like work, don't try this on something you can't live without.

Whatever you choose to apply the image transfer to needs to be completely ready, minus clear coat, before you begin.

 Once your piece is ready to go, you will need to find your image. My go to website for awesome, free images is graphicsfairy.com. There is so much here, you will have a hard time choosing.

Print your image...you will be placing the image face down for the transfer, so if it has words you will need to reverse it before you print.

Now trim as much white from around your image. This will just make less work later.

Break out your Mod Podge and a brush.

 You are going to paint a layer of Mod Podge onto the image. If you haven't worked with it before, let me warn you, Mod Podge is a finicky little brat. Use too little and it won't stick, use too much and your paper will get all nasty and fall apart. So, with that in mind, apply a generous, but not ridiculous, layer onto the image. Now, place the image, Mod Podge down onto your piece...it may be a good idea to do a placement test BEFORE applying the Mod Podge...once you stick it, it needs to stay stuck. Rub it gently with your fingers to get any air bubbles out.

Now...walk away. I know alot of you are going to want to "check" it...want this project to move a little faster at this point..trust me, walk away. If you mess with it, you're going to screw it up. It needs to dry for a few hours, at least. If your OCD is just out of control, plan this project strategically right before bed so you have no choice but to leave it alone.

Once the paper is good and dry, it's time to remove it to reveal the transferred image. I realize I just spent an entire paragraph berating you to let this thing dry...but now you are going to wet it again. I usually take a wad of paper towels, wet them, and wring them out really well...now gently dab the image with them until it"s damp. You don't want it WET.

Once it is damp, start rubbing the paper with your finger...GENTLY. If you rub too hard, you'll remove the image and all...which I do purposefully sometimes, because I like the aged look it gives. If you screw up and remove some parts of the image, say you were going for an aged look.

When all the paper is removed from the image, spray the entire piece with clear coat.

That's it!! Its a little time consuming, but not hard!

I'm going to end this post with a completely random share...you may or may not know this about me, but I love a good garage sale. My entire family knows that no matter where we are going, a garage sale stop could happen at anytime. In fact, baybay has been trained to look for garage sale signs as we travel and announces them from the backseat.

I found the motherlode this past weekend...can I just tell you...fabric for $1 a yard....ONE DOLLAR A YARD, people!! The only thing was, this fabric was still in the lady's sewing room.  In plastic boxes.  Lots of them. Imagine me, waist deep, in a stranger's sewing room, frantically digging through tons of fabric....my husband is cringing right now, I know it.  But it was worth it...I mean, really, $1 a yard!!

The first person to comment on my facebook page at www.facebook.com/backporchrevival, within my traveling area (sorry folks, I'm not mailing this one) can claim the image transfer table as their own! 

Killin Birds

This blog post was supposed to happen yesterday, but good ole' lack o' knowledge prevented that. I can Google with the best of them though, so tonight I'm ready. It literally took me ALL day to figure out how to get my pics to show in this blog.

 I even resorted to bribery. I finally got so fed up with it, I told big baybay that I'd pay him $20 if he could tell me how to do it before the night was up. But I figured it out first. It does not amuse him when this happens. Yes, it's something I do occasionally. Last week, I offered a $5 reward for the baybay that found my black flipflop first.  It is amazing how much harder I work to find something, fix something, or figure something out when I'm trying not to give them my money.

Ok...on with the post....

This post is sponsored by my need to get several things done yesterday in a short amount of time. I promised a crafty tutorial, and I shall deliver. I also needed to make a sign for my new booth coming in October. So, a pallet sign tutorial was born.

Last, but certainly not least.....I needed some creative punishment. I have always believed in creative punishment, and in my house, if you are irresponsible with your schoolwork, then you get to involuntarily participate in a crafty tutorial.

Meet big baybay and his beautiful lady....

• I have used all of my good pallets in previous projects, so my sweet hubby took off his recliner suit gave up some of his last day home to locate and pick up some really nice pallets for me.

The first thing you will want to do is decide if you want a small or large sign....this will decide where you will cut the pallet. I wanted a smaller sign since it will be hanging at the entrance of my booth.

Break out your reciprocating saw, and cut away...

• I wanted my sign 3 boards high, but we cut an extra board to be used to attach all the boards together. Big baybay used the jigsaw to strip this board down the middle and then cut off the excess.

***You will probably notice as some point in this post that all of my pictures are just headed straight down the page, and wonder why I'm not putting a few of them together so that this post isn't 40 miles long...well, I haven't figured out how to do that yet, so lets just be happy we have pictures for tonight, ok?****

I wanted my sign to have a little more finished look, so we sanded down the edges really well and even kind of rounded them a little. This step is purely optional.

Next, you will want to arrange your boards and put the smaller strips across the back of them. You will see big baybay using the pneumatic staple gun to attach these, but of course screws and a screwdriver would work as well.

Now, you can leave it natural or give it a coat of paint...I chose a Valspar white for mine. Paint the front and back...one at a time, of course. Make sure it is good and dry before you move on to the lettering.

You will need a computer and printer for your lettering. Just choose your font and size...make sure your size is going to "match" your sign....type up your saying and print it out.

Cut the words out so that your placement wont be wonky...but make sure you leave a little white around the edges so there is somewhere to put the tape.

Now, just trace the outline of each letter with a blunt object. Press hard enough to indent the wood, but not hard enough to tear the paper. Think about this step again when you are choosing your font...those beautiful, swirly calligraphy type fonts will make you lose your Jesus when you start trying to trace them onto a pallet. Just sayin.

Ok...now just paint it in! I use acrylics and a tiny paint brush and go very, very slowly. 

You will notice mine has holes in the top. I decided I wanted a little something extra, so I had big baybay drill some holes at the top. 

Now, I'm gonna tell y'all something about me...I'm not necessarily cheap, but I just don't see the point in spending money when you can make do without sacrificing quality. Making do doesn't have to equal sacrificing quality...if you are creative. I have alot of stuff laying around from different projects, and I found a super cute drawer pull that I thought would look nice. I gently pounded it flat with a hammer and painted it to match the sign. I don't have a picture of this step, but I do have a picture of our favorite way to make sure we drill holes in the right place here in the zoo.

 That's right folks, that's toothpaste. I am a couponer, and we have about 150 tubes of the stuff, so we get creative with our uses of that too. Dab it onto the prongs and then press it to the sign...tada...two nice little dots right where your holes should be...

Now, you need to attach something to the back with which to hang your sign. I have in the past used the little tab looking thingies (very technical terminology, I know) that go onto screws...but I wanted this sign to hang from a ribbon. And once again...we are using what we had...because, well, why not? Big Baybay used the pneumatic staple gun to attach these large book rings to each of the braces on the back...

And to finish it off, I tied my ribbon to each ring on the back. It was a little time consuming, but it wasn't hard, and big baybay enjoyed it, whether he admits it or not. 

Isn't she lovely?

If you love this sign and would like to have your own, but do not have the time, the power tools, or the teenager to make one, please feel free to message me on my Facebook page (link below) and we can fix you up!

Back Porch Revival

•