Blogging is something that has been a desire of my heart for a long time...I'm not sure why...maybe it's just simply the feeling of release or a hope that someone, somewhere will read some snippet and say "yessssss!!!". I haven't written a post in a very long time, so I figured why not start with a hard one.
I do not do pictures. I have this crazy, yet sometimes wonderful, disorder...I have the ability to look at myself in a mirror and really like what I see most of the time. I don't see lumps or bumps. I put a cute outfit together and fix my hair and do a little makeup and I stand in front of the mirror and think, yep, I still look pretty! This disorder only works in the mirror. I am literally SHOCKED every time I see myself in a picture. Whoa!!! When did I get THAT big?!?!
We have had family pictures made once in the last 8 years. The hubs recently made a push to get them done and I had met a really nice photographer on Facebook a while back, so I gave in and made an appointment.
We had a really great time at the session...not only did our photographer make us comfortable, we actually had fun. So much fun, that I left thinking that we might just become a picture taking family.
And then she posted the sneak peek on Facebook. My immediate reaction was just joy at how beautiful these photos were. That lasted about a millisecond. I swiped my finger across the screen of my phone to the next picture...and my heart just fell. I felt horrified...look how terrible my stomach looks! Thoughts raced through my head...I'm going to ask her to take these down! Can she edit this a little to smooth out my stomach? Oh. Em. Gee.
People...I COMPLETELY ruined a beautiful moment for my husband. The man stood there, tears nearly in his eyes, full of love and pride for the family in these pictures. And instead of hugging him, and reveling in gratitude for what the Lord has given me, I promptly made a beeline for the bathroom and cried.
I texted a very close friend, who gave me a swift kick in the butt...that I didn't want to hear at the time.
I have looked these pictures over with a fine tooth comb...and there is so much TRUTH in them. I'll insert a sidebar here...YES, I know that being over weight is unhealthy...just so you all know that I KNOW that. And I KNOW that I need to do something about it. But I also know that it is not WHO I am. The woman in those pictures is not a jiggly stomach or a double chin. As my friend so succinctly put it..."I can't see your stomach because I'm looking at a beautiful mother with her two handsome sons. They all look healthy and happy, well provided for and nicely clothed. They seem as if maybe God has His hand on them and has big plans for their future." Indeed.
