Screw You, Norman Rockwell

Warning: this is a very personal post...because what else is social media good for, if not sharing too much of our business with the world? 

It is 9 pm on Christmas Eve...hubby is at work, so we will do the majority of our celebrating after the new year. I've had dinner and chocolates with the boys and the little one has gone off to bed. Santa will bring one gift each for them to open tomorrow morning...we will save the rest to open when daddy gets home. I'm sitting outside, doing a lot of wishing over a hot cup of coffee. 

I had an interesting conversation with a very close friend today. She and I have always joked about wanting the "Norman Rockwell" life. We all have trials, some more than others it seems. We all have sicknesses. Drama. Pain in the ass relatives. Sometimes you just look at those Norman Rockwell paintings and wonder why life couldn't be that simple, that "clean". 

My mother and I were like oil and water my entire life. I loved her and I know she loved me, but we could never get along for more than a few minutes at a time. I spent the majority of my life wishing that things could be different, that we could have a "normal" relationship. She was very, very sick and miserable at the end, and it was almost a relief when she died, just to know that she was finally pain free and at peace. But it was also the death of an opportunity. The opportunity for that normal relationship died also. 

Christmas was her favorite holiday. Christmas in Dixie was her favorite Christmas song. I think I have heard it every time I get in the vehicle for the past two weeks. It hits me like a ton of bricks every single time. 

Something hit me today about those Norman Rockwell paintings...they are kind of like those carefully crafted Facebook posts you see so much of in your feed these days. You know the ones...the ones that reek of desperately trying to convince the world that life is perfect. They aren't real. No one's life is perfect. And no relationship is perfect. 

I felt perfectly justified in every stand I took against my mother. Most of the time it felt like self preservation, to be honest. I still won't say I was wrong in my actions. But I will say that I wish I had been more tolerant. More tolerant of her life experiences and how she got where she was and why she was the way she was. I wish I had been able to love more, even when I was feeling hurt. To love harder when I didn't feel very loved. To realize that our relationship didn't have to be a Norman Rockwell relationship. 

She came to my house every year to make candy. And she was usually here about 3.5 minutes before she started criticizing my decor or my cleaning habits or my parenting. I don't know how I could've handled that differently, but I wish I would have considered it, instead of just being pissed off and ready for her to leave. 

We have had a lovely Christmas season...a fantastic family party, candy making with the kids, looking at lights, making ornaments...no rush and no frenzy for the first time in ages. But I sure would give a lot for one more terrible candy making session with my mom. 

Merry Christmas, love y'all! 

Rusty Ornament Tutorial

Happy Wednesday! I am running waaaaay behind on this post...I had a killer toothache for almost a week and I was NOT productive. Or nice 😡 ...but we all survived.

I have a pretty fab little project I want to share with you for turning plastic, $1.00 ornaments from the dollar store into awesome, rusty patina goodness...and the best part is that they won't drag your tree branches down to the floor!

I picked up these 10 inch stars for this project...I have done the same process on several other plastic ornaments, so you can use whatever you like.

Don't be judging the lack of pretty in my shop...it's a work shop. It took many hours of hard work to get it to the level of crappy looking that it is right now. 

You are going to want to prime your ornament first to dull down all that glitter...trust me, don't skip this step. I used this....just because I had it on hand...you can pretty much use any spray paint that you have hanging around. 

Paint the back side of the ornament and let it dry well, and then flip it and do the front. Make sure to hold your can about 12 inches away from the ornament, and spray in short bursts, sweeping back and forth across the ornament...otherwise, you will end up with a bunch of paint runs. 

Now you want to get the copper on there....start with the back and then do the front. Make sure that you get it covered well. I used my copper gilding jewels from Miss Lillian's paint line, but you can also use copper paint. I like the gilding jewels because they add a little texture and make it look more like real, rusted metal once it is finished. 

Once the copper has dried, you want to dab in some black on the raised details and in the nooks and crannies to add some age. I used carbon gilding jewels, but you could use dark wax, or even black paint with a very small brush. If you choose to use black paint, you will want to dry brush it in...barely dip your brush into the paint, and then pat it on a paper towel a bit...you want just a tiny bit of paint on the brush. Don't brush it on, but kind of "dab" it onto the ornament with the brush. This will create a more realistic aged look. 

Next, you will add some white and patina to finish the look. I also used my Miss Lillian's products for these colors, but you can totally use paint or even tinted wax. You will want to use the same technique you used with the black paint to apply the patina (if you are using paint). I would suggest applying the white a little thicker...just make sure to let it dry well...a blow dryer can help speed things along. If the white or patina look too "bright" once you apply them, don't panic...just come back over them veeeerrry lightly with a little black to tone them down. 

Once everything has dried well, give the back and front both a light coat of clear spray paint. Spray paint rules found above also apply to clear spray paint...runs will show...yes, even if it's clear...trust me on this. 

And....voila! Beautiful, copperpatinarustygoodness that won't break the bank...or your tree limbs! 

If you give this a try, please share a pic with us over on the Back Porch Revival group page!

https://www.facebook.com/groups/946761595468116/

One Man's Trash

The people in my house don't understand my "keep" system...I hate clutter, I really do....however, an antique bed post doesn't qualify as clutter in my world. It might lay in my shop for a year, but it will eventually get a new life. They have no vision...

Anyway, today is the day that bed post did finally get a new life. I love holiday decorating, but I'm cheap, and I don't like to spend much money to do it. I don't usually keep decorations from year to year, because I accumulate so many neat things all year long, and I like to find ways to incorporate them into my decor. I thought it would be fun to show you how to turn your trash into "holiday treasure".

I made an arrangement for my dining room table. The container for the arrangement is a wire and wicker basket I bought cheap, cheap from a friend.

I should warn you now, this will be a picture rich post....

You are going to want to fill the basket with greenery. You can use faux greens if you want, but I like to use real ones so I can just toss them when Christmas is over. I live right on the edge of the highway, so I feel certain at least one of you has seen me in my yard, scissors in hand, whacking away at the poor cedar tree in front. 

Arrange the branches with the stick end pointing in toward the center, and add them until it is as full as you want. 

It looks a little Charlie Brownish right now, I know, but trust me...have some vision...

Next you will want to add whatever you are using for your votive holder....if you have a few tools, you can make a votive holder out of just about anything.

Here is the old bedpost that I used for mine and the pieces that hubby cut out of it for me.

Use a large clamp to hold your piece in place, and trace a votive candle so you know how big to make the hole for the candle.

Drill a starter hole for the router (which will make the "hole" for the votive)...

And then use your router to carve out the circle you've drawn....

Voila!

Ok, so back to the good stuff now...add your votive holder(s) to the center of the container. I put mine in and got them where I wanted them, and then added a little hot glue to the bottom of them to help hold them in place. 

Now, go crazy! Add whatever you want...ribbon, ornaments, glitter, pine cones...whatever you have on hand, whatever fits your style. I like my arrangements to be pretty woodsy and pretty minimalist, with a little bling. 

I added a little sheer, gold ribbon...just weave it into the greens, sticking your ends under to hide them when you finish. 

I used one of my favorite products, Miss Lillian's Embellishing Butter, to add a little white to the tips of my pine cones to make them "pop" a little in the arrangement. You can tell by the look of my jar that it gets used a lot. 

I added the pine cones and some textured, gold ornaments...I  like to turn my ornaments upside down so the hanger part doesn't show. 

And here it is, my trash to treasure Christmas arrangement!

I would love to see your Christmas creations! Please share pics in my group at the link below (there might be a contest involved!) 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/946761595468116/

Consistently Inconsistent

I have been keeping the strangest hours lately, but they seem to be working for me, so I'm just going with it. It's almost 3 am, and I've been up for a while...I felt compelled to write a blog post and when I logged in, I realized it's been almost exactly a year since my last post. And the one before that was almost exactly a year before that. If there is anything I AM consistent about, it is my inconsistency.

This has been a ROUGH year...it has been a year that I am thoroughly thankful for, but it has been rough. God has used situation after situation to grow me and stretch me this year. I have so far to go, but I have seen so much growth and progress in myself, that I can't help but look at every situation and feel gratitude about them.

It has been a year of major change...the oil field has affected this house like many others, although not as drastically as some, praise the Lord. Back Porch Revival has changed, and changed some more. There have been a lot of faith walks happening around here, lol.

I have lost family this year, but also feel like I have gained family, as well. This will be the first Thanksgiving and Christmas since my mother and grandpa passed...it will be hard in ways. But I am also very much looking forward to hosting the holidays here for our family.

I have learned about community over competition this year. I learned that, gasp!, the world doesn't revolve around me! I learned that other women are trying to "make it", just like I am...and that not only will it not kill me, but that it might actually bless me, to give them a leg up when I have the opportunity. Even if they don't reciprocate.

I've learned that not being able to do everything doesn't make me a failure. And that BEING an actual failure every now and then won't kill me, either. I've been a failure quite a few times this year...it was a necessary, humbling experience each and every time. And I survived, every single time.

And,, I've learned that as much as consistency and self discipline SUCK, they are necessary. Hit that follow button...there are many new things coming to Back Porch Revival and to our lives in general. It is my hope to share them with you CONSISTENTLY in 2017 and I don't want you to miss a thing!

Truth In Pictures

Blogging is something that has been a desire of my heart for a long time...I'm not sure why...maybe it's just simply the feeling of release or a hope that someone, somewhere will read some snippet and say "yessssss!!!".  I haven't written a post in a very long time, so I figured why not start with a hard one. 

I do not do pictures. I have this crazy, yet sometimes wonderful, disorder...I have the ability to look at myself in a mirror and really like what I see most of the time. I don't see lumps or bumps. I put a cute outfit together and fix my hair and do a little makeup and I stand in front of the mirror and think, yep, I still look pretty! This disorder only works in the mirror. I am literally SHOCKED every time I see myself in a picture. Whoa!!! When did I get THAT big?!?! 

We have had family pictures made once in the last 8 years. The hubs recently made a push to get them done and I had met a really nice photographer on Facebook a while back, so I gave in and made an appointment.  

We had a really great time at the session...not only did our photographer make us comfortable, we actually had fun. So much fun, that I left thinking that we might just become a picture taking family. 

And then she posted the sneak peek on Facebook. My immediate reaction was just joy at how beautiful these photos were. That lasted about a millisecond. I swiped my finger across the screen of my phone to the next picture...and my heart just fell. I felt horrified...look how terrible my stomach looks! Thoughts raced through my head...I'm going to ask her to take these down! Can she edit this a little to smooth out my stomach? Oh. Em. Gee.

People...I COMPLETELY ruined a beautiful moment for my husband. The man stood there, tears nearly in his eyes, full of love and pride for the family in these pictures. And instead of hugging him, and reveling in gratitude for what the Lord has given me, I promptly made a beeline for the bathroom and cried. 

I texted a very close friend, who gave me a swift kick in the butt...that I didn't want to hear at the time. 

I have looked these pictures over with a fine tooth comb...and there is so much TRUTH in them. I'll insert a sidebar here...YES, I know that being over weight is unhealthy...just so you all know that I KNOW that. And I KNOW that I need to do something about it. But I also know that it is not WHO I am.  The woman in those pictures is not a jiggly stomach or a double chin. As my friend so succinctly put it..."I can't see your stomach because I'm looking at a beautiful mother with her two handsome sons. They all look healthy and happy, well provided for and nicely clothed. They seem as if maybe God has His hand on them and has big plans for their future."  Indeed.

It Was House

This Christmas season has not gone as I had planned. I am ridiculously grateful for the many, many blessings in my life, don't get me wrong...but, boy oh boy has this Christmas season not gone as I had planned. I feel quite certain this is one of those times that God had to remind me, yet again, that I am not in charge.

We have all been just silly about the new house...and I think we all had these pretty Norman Rockwell dreams of what our first Christmas here was going to be like. We discussed all the decorations we would hang and the dinner we would eat sitting at our gigantic "new" dining set...oh my! the things we planned. And a month, a ton of doctor's and dentist's visits, prescriptions not covered by insurance, severe colds, a bladder infection, bulging disks and a thrown-out back, a stomach virus, and a shitload of medical bills later...we have a tree up, we have decided the dining table is too big, and we will be going out for dinner and a movie with our boys on Christmas night.

And you know what? I am ok with that. Yes, I had a moment or two where I was just disgusted that I didn't get to Pinterest my little heart out once again this Christmas, but at the end of the day, it was house.

Our "new" house is my husband's grandparents' houseplace. And we LURVE it. It is an old house, but she has great bones. The house is a nice house...it is spacious and has a great pantry...it has alot going for it. But none of those are the reasons why we love the house so. The house just FEELS like home.

I hope that you are lucky enough to have known the feeling (maybe you are really lucky and you STILL get to feel the feeling) of walking into your grandmother's house. My grandma's house just always felt like home...it was the most comfortable place in my world. Everything was gonna be ok when you were at grandma's house. Everything was perfect there...you didn't have to look or act a certain way...it was ok to eat a second piece of cake, noone was judging...it was just HOME.

That is the feeling in this house. When we walk through the door, everything is just ok, because we are home. It is comfortable. It is perfect.

We still have so much left to do as far as updating and finishing the house...small things like touching up trim and painting and rehanging doors. We have all put in alot of hours together to get it where it is now. Alot of late night, delirious hours...and so "it was house" was born.

My boys and I all get a little silly when we get tired...and at some point during our late night painting sessions, someone started yelling "it was house!" from whatever room they were working in. And all of our minds work the the same, so it was immediately understood that this really meant "ohmygoshthishouseisfantasticandicantbelieveitsreallyours". So, for months we have yelled "It was house" to each other.

I think one reason we get so frantic at Christmas is that it feels like a one shot deal. We have a "season" to cram in all these activities and feelings and our favorite foods and such. What I have finally realized this year is that we should live those feelings all year long...why does Christmas make us feel so good? Because we make candy with our kids and give it as gifts to people? Do we have to wait until Christmas to do that?

Yes, obviously there are alot of "Christmas" things we wouldn't do year round..If you are being ridiculous right now and naming them all in your head, then stop...you know what I mean. It's kinda the same as people who save all their good shit their whole lives waiting for special occasions to use it and then die before they do.

Our Christmas may not have turned out quite the way we planned, but it turned out, and for that I am thankful.

It was home.

Oh the Webs We Weave

It has been sometime since I posted anything. I have had somewhat of a love-hate relationship with this blog. I really like the idea of writing this blog...but notice every time I start a post, I kind of wrestle with myself as I'm writing. I censor myself.
See, the problem with actually DOING a blog, like full on doing it...is that you fling open the doors on all your shit and invite people to come on in, parade around,  observe...and yes, judge.
There was a time in my life when I simply didn't care what people thought of me. Somewhere along the way, I lost that person. I started to care waaaaay too much what people thought of me. I started to censor myself.
Last week, my little family went on a much needed, nothing extravagant vacation. It was fabulous. I was stress free. I was uninhibited. I was uncensored. It was so freeing. So, I brought that me home with me.
I even posted a full body pic of myself from vacation on Facebook. No more cropping myself out of pics because I'm overweight. No more editing tutorial pics so you can't see that after a year, my kitchen cabinets STILL don't have doors on them. I am who I am. We live how we live.
I'll be inviting you into my home in the blog posts to come. I spend a lot of time making things beautiful for other people with my business, so my house looks like a hodge podge of started refinishing, decided I hate it, realized I was trying to please someone else shit right now. I'll be starting in the master bedroom..."before" pics to come. I hope you'll stay tuned!